You see it all over the internet. The number one thing Muslim Men are complaining about is that more and more Muslim Women are engaging in pre-marital sexual encounters or hook ups, and not being virgins on wedding day.
Now, I don’t want others to think that I’m OK with this or condoning, I’m only offering a different perspective. Maybe a perspective that you won’t appreciate or like, but still it’s something we need to think about, while holding ourselves accountable as Men do.
Firstly, why are they doing this? How could they, right!?!? Muslim men ask themselves this question while at the same time some of them are in the club and hooking up with random girls. Double standard? Yes, totally. If you are expecting a virgin on your wedding night, you should also be pure. Why are there different rules from men and women in this subject? This is not from the teaching of our prophet ﷺ
Secondly, and here is where I offer my opinion. Muslim women are tired of waiting for men to get their act together. They are finding masculine men even with non-Muslim men. It happens, I read about it all the time. Their logic might not be the rule, but it’s definitely a HUGE and widespread exception.
Here’s the question. In your opinion, would most of these Muslim women be doing this if there were more men improving themselves and being more active husbands and father’s? Would these women in question be doing this is there were more qualified men available to them? Allahu Alim.
As for me, I like to think that if more men would invest themselves with the four quadrants of life, physical, spiritual, intellectual, and financial, we wouldn’t be having this problem on the level it is today.
We men want to be the leaders of women and demand respect while not being worthy of respect. A man leads, this is how it has always been and always will be. But if a woman thinks that you are not worthy of following because you are falling short as a man in responsibility, there will be a constant power struggle and the fights will never end.
In closing, a man leads. A man sets the tempo. a man shows his family or potential wife that he is worthy. This happens only when you commit to yourself as a man. Excuses? forget about it. Events in your life hold you back? You just defeated yourself. As men we fix things in life to feel useful. Let the first and most valuable thing you fix be, YOU.
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