There is a scene in A Bronx Tale that has stayed with me for years.

The main character is furious over a friend who owes him twenty dollars. Sonny pulls him aside and says something along the lines of:

“You just paid twenty dollars to get him out of your life forever. He’ll never ask you for anything again. Let it go.”

Omar and I were on a call earlier and he used a word that made me think

Filters…

The wrong people in your life are not accidents. They are filters.

They show you exactly who they are, usually early, usually clearly, and most of us override what we see because we want the relationship to be something it is not.

A lot of men do not understand what boundaries actually are. They think a boundary is a wall you put up to keep people out.

It is not…

A boundary is a standard you set that tells you what you will and will not tolerate. The people in your life will either respect it or reveal themselves.

That revelation is the filter doing its job.

Every person who has ever burned you, used you, disrespected you, or disappeared when things got hard did you a favor.

They showed you who they were.

The only question is whether you were paying attention or making excuses.

Stop grieving the loss of people who were never built for where you are going.

The twenty dollars was tuition.

The lesson was worth it.


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