Rites of Passage

This is my step Dad in the pic

Rites of passage are largely gone from most civilizations around the world. But when I grew up, they were real, and they were worked toward on a daily basis.

Many of you know that my stepfather taught me how to be a man, and my father taught me how not to be one. I was fortunate. My stepfather was part Native American. I grew up on a farm from the ages of 4 to 10.

He used to take me hunting for birds, fishing, and camping. He taught me how to build my first fire, which was one of the minor rites of passage. He taught me about different trees, how to grow food, how to process a fish, a bird, and a deer.

He didn’t make it impossible for me to have one rite of passage. He made many for me. Some were physical, some took time, and some were intellectual. He was my rites of passage as a four year old boy.

Killing my first bird. That happened when I was seven years old with a shotgun my grandfather had gifted me. Yes, I was seven years old, and that’s how it was back then with my family.

Catching a bigger fish than my stepdad. That happened when I was 11.

Beating my stepdad in a chess match. That happened when I was 14.

Growing and harvesting my patch of the garden. I chose pumpkins, and I finished that when I was eight years old. My mom made a pie out of it and roasted pumpkin seeds for all of us to eat.

And finally, the toughest one. Beating him in an arm wrestling match. That happened when I was 21 years old.

Physically, that was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, as my stepdad was an extremely strong man. I remember the first moment when, for the first time in my life, my arm was no longer centered in the match. I gained an advantage over him that day. But the fight wasn’t over.

I struggled every single inch until I finally beat my stepdad.

You might think he was a sore loser because I finally knocked him off as the champion. But the truth of it was, I have never seen him smile wider in my life. He patted me on the back and gave me a hug.

It is my opinion that every single civilization and every single family should have rites of passage for their boys, as long as it is safe.

The question I have for you today is this: what rites of passage did you have, and what rites of passage are you building for your sons right now?