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Who do you have around you? ‎What kind of Wolfpack do you run with? ‎The Prophet ﷺ said that good company in one’s life is essential ‎I often think about when I was in the military and how important that concept was even before I was a Muslim ‎Our mission was straightforward, to end, one life after the other ‎To accomplish that, the team had to be on the same page ‎Our weapons were oiled and cleaned ‎We all made sure that we ate and slept enough

‎We made sure that we understood the mission of the patrol or engagement

‎Each man knew his role and responsibilities when the chaos of battle begins

‎Friendship in life is no different

‎You have to make sure that your friends that you run with are squared away

‎Sometimes you have to give sometimes you need to take

‎But what you can never do is to fail the man next to you

‎Men that have no ambition or mission in life, need to be cut out of your life

‎The Wolfpack is constantly on the move

‎Keep up, contribute, run, hard, or get left behind

Going through a separation or divorce can be very difficult, no matter the reason for it. It can turn your world upside down and make it hard to get through the work day and stay productive. But there are things you can do to get through this difficult adjustment.

Recognize that it’s OK to have different feelings. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused—and these feelings can be intense. You also may feel anxious about the future. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over time. Even if the marriage was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening.

Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. You may not be able to be quite as productive on the job or care for others in exactly the way you’re accustomed to for a little while. No one is superman or superwoman; take time to heal, regroup and re-energize.

Don’t go through this alone. Sharing your feelings with friends and family can help you get through this period. Consider joining a support group where you can talk to others in similar situations. Isolating yourself can raise your stress levels, reduce your concentration, and get in the way of your work, relationships and overall health. Don’t be afraid to get outside help if you need it.

Take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Be good to yourself and to your body. Take time out to exercise, eat well and relax. Keep to your normal routines as much as possible. Try to avoid making major decisions or changes in life plans. Don’t use alcohol, drugs or cigarettes as a way to cope; they only lead to more problems.

Avoid power struggles and arguments with your spouse or former spouse. If a discussion begins to turn into a fight, calmly suggest that you both try talking again later and either walk away or hang up the phone.

Take time to explore your interests. Reconnect with things you enjoy doing apart from your spouse. Have you always wanted to take up painting or play on an intramural softball team? Sign up for a class, invest time in your hobbies, volunteer, and take time to enjoy life and make new friends.

Think positively. Easier said than done, right? Things may not be the same, but finding new activities and friends, and moving forward with reasonable expectations will make this transition easier. Be flexible. If you have children, family traditions will still be important but some of them may need to be adjusted. Help create new family activities.

Life will get back to normal, although “normal” may be different from what you had originally hoped.

Tips for talking to kids …

If you have children, here’s a short list of tips that can help your young children and teens cope.

Reassure and listen. Make sure your kids know that your divorce is not their fault. Listen to and ease their concerns, and be compassionate but direct in your responses.

Maintain stability and routines. Try to keep your kids’ daily and weekly routines as familiar and stable as possible.

Offer consistent discipline. Now that your kids may share time with both parents separately, make sure to agree in advance on bedtimes, curfews and other everyday decisions, as well as any punishments.

Let your children know they can rely on you. Make and keep realistic promises. And don’t overly confide in them about your feelings about the divorce.

Don’t involve your children in the conflict. Avoid arguing with or talking negatively about the other parent in front of your kids. Don’t use them as spies or messengers, or make them take sides.

“Porn addiction” isn’t an official diagnosis recognized by the American Psychiatric Association (APA). But experiencing an uncontrollable compulsion to view porn can be as problematic for some people as other behavioral addictions.

Pornography has always been with us, and it’s always been controversial.

Some people aren’t interested in it, and some are deeply offended by it. Others partake of it occasionally, and others on a regular basis.

It all boils down to personal preference and personal choice.

Since the existence of “porn addiction” is not recognized by the APA, no definitive diagnostic criteria guide mental health professionals in its diagnosis.

This article explores the difference between compulsion and addiction, and reviews how to:

• recognize habits which may be considered problematic
• reduce or eliminate unwanted behavior
• know when to talk to a mental health professional

Is it really an addiction?

Since people may be reluctant to talk about it, it’s difficult to know how many people enjoy porn on a regular basis, or how many find it impossible to resist.

A Kinsey Institute survey found that 9 percent of people who view porn have unsuccessfully tried to stop. This survey was taken in 2002.

Since then, it’s become much easier to access porn via the internet and streaming services.

This easy access makes it more difficult to stop if watching porn has become a problem.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), a publication of the American Psychiatric Association, is used by healthcare professionals to help diagnosis mental disorders.

But researchTrusted Source suggests that behavioral addictions are serious.

One 2015 review article concluded that internet pornography shares basic mechanisms with substance addiction.

Research comparing the brains of people who compulsively view porn to the brains of people who are addicted to drugs or alcohol has produced mixed results.

Other researchers suggest it may be more of a compulsion than an addiction.

COMPULSION VS. ADDICTION

Compulsions are repetitive behaviors with no rational motivation, but are often engaged in to reduce anxiety. Addictions involve an inability to stop the behavior, despite negative consequences. Both involve a lack of control.

Either way, if watching porn becomes problematic, there are ways to try to regain control.

What does addiction look like?

Simply viewing or enjoying porn doesn’t make you addicted to it, nor does it require fixing.

On the other hand, addictions are about lack of control — and that can cause significant problems.

Your viewing habits may be a cause for concern if you:

• find that the amount of time you spend watching porn keeps growing
• feel as though you need a porn “fix” — and that fix gives you a “high”
• feel guilty about the consequences of viewing porn
• spend hours on end perusing online porn sites, even if it means neglecting responsibilities or sleep
• insist that your romantic or sexual partner views porn or acts out porn fantasies even though they don’t want to
• are unable to enjoy sex without first viewing porn
• are unable to resist porn even though it’s disrupting your life

What causes it?

It’s hard to say why viewing porn can sometimes escalate into an out-of-control behavior.

You may start looking at porn because you like it, and watching it doesn’t seem to be a problem.

You may enjoy the rush it gives you and find yourself wanting that rush more often.

By then, it may not matter that these viewing habits are causing a problem or that you feel bad about it later. It’s that in-the-moment high you can’t resist.

If you try to stop, you may find that you simply can’t do it. That’s how behavioral addictions sneak up on people.

Research Trusted Source shows that certain behavioral addictions, such as internet addiction, involve neural processes similar to substance addiction — and that internet pornography addiction is comparable.

It may start during a period when you feel bored, lonely, anxious, or depressed. Like other behavioral addictions, it can happen to anyone.

Can you stop on your own or should you see a professional?

You may be able to gain control over your porn viewing on your own.

Here are a few things you can try:

• Delete electronic porn and bookmarks on all your devices.
• Discard all your hard-copy porn.
• Have someone else install anti-porn software on your electronic devices without giving you the password.
• Have a plan — choose another activity or two that you can turn to when that powerful urge hits.
• When you want to view porn, remind yourself how it has affected your life — write it down if that helps.
• Consider if there are any triggers and try to avoid them.
• Partner up with someone else who will ask about your porn habit and hold you accountable.
• Keep a journal to track setbacks, reminders, and alternate activities that work.

What treatment options are available?

If you can, consider seeing a therapist to discuss your concerns. They can come up with an individualized treatment plan to help you work through them.

Therapy

If you believe you have a compulsion or addiction, it’s worth seeing a mental health professional for evaluation. This may be especially helpful if you also have anxiety, signs of depression, or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

Depending on how porn is impacting your life, your therapist may recommend individual, group, or family counseling.

Be wary of therapists who claim to “specialize” in diagnosis and treatment of pornography. It’s difficult to “specialize” in a disorder that lacks a professionally agreed upon definition or uniformly outlined diagnostic criteria.

Counseling sessions will help you understand what caused the compulsion in the first place. Your therapist can help you develop effective coping mechanisms to change your relationship with pornographic materials.

Support groups

Many people find strength in talking to others who have firsthand experience with the same issue.

Ask a primary care physician, mental health professional, or local hospital for information on pornography or sexual addiction support groups.

Here are some other sources you may find helpful:

• DailyStrength.org: Sex/Pornography Addiction Support Group
• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): National Helpline 1-800-662-4357
• American Psychological Association: Psychologist Locator

A real man respects you and himself enough to never tell lies, even about the small things.

A real man takes the time to know himself fully.

a real man values integrity, loyalty, honesty, and honor

A real man strives to become a role model for his sons and his daughters.

A real man wants his children to exceed his abilities.

a real man provides for his family, emotionally, mentally, and financially

A real man ONLY see’s the woman he loves.

A real man is able to laugh at himself.

A real man has the strength to protect without ever abusing that strength

A real man is one that submits to Allah

A real man understands that it’s the little things you care about that make you so amazing.